I live on the west coast. On my 2nd marriage now. First marriage seemed pretty good, went south fast. Couldn’t believe how few rights I had when it came to custody, child support, and the rest of it. Pretty much just a meal ticket. I love my kids, but can’t believe how much power the state, my ex wife, and her lawyer have over important decisions regarding how their raised, ect…while my opinion seems to count for %$^%^. Only my paycheck matters. How did we get to this point? Why are men the only parties automatically considered bad actors in this whole drama, but yet the other parties listed above are assumed to always have the kids best interest at heart? I’m sure there are some other voices out there too.
I spent almost 30K on my
I spent almost 30K on my divorce just in legal fees. At the end of it all, the child support judgment was exactly what New York State law mandates, based on my income and the number of children. (In NY, it’s approx. 17% for 1 child, 25% for 2, and 33% for 3). Now I wonder why I even hired a lawyer. Did I get $30,000 worth of service? I could have read up on the subject in the library, or even on the net, and ended up with the same result. Maybe you guys could put some of the different states’ divorce laws up on this page, and save some men a lot of money.
It would be nice if the men
It would be nice if the men on this site could actually band into a cohesive voitng bloc, so that we could actually help change some of the unfairness and inconsistencies in the family court laws and child custody rulings of different states. There seems to be no consideration at all to the emotional well being, finances, or mental health of fathers when child custody and support decisions are made. Women seem to be automatically ruled victims in these cases, and they are encouraged to soak the man for all he’s worth. Additionally, the man’s access to his children is regulated by outsiders or a hostile former spouse. Shame on the deadbeats who want nothing to do with their children or who are unwilling to support them, but at the same time, the great majority of men in this country place their children at the highest priority, and it’s shameful and disgusting the way they are treated by the court system. Just my two cents, but I’ll bet some others agree
I’m doing pretty good now,
I’m doing pretty good now, dating a good woman. But my last relationship was a nightmare, she WAS evil. In a divorce proceeding, I was the bad guy. Did nothing but try to work things out, and once it was beyond repair, tried to make a fair settlement with her. But in spite of my best intentions, still cost me a bundle. I think even the tax code in this country is more fair than the divorce laws in terms of the way men are treated. Nobody ever questions politicians or judges on how the system got this far into disrepair.
There are very few places
There are very few places where you can even find anything on the topic of “men’s rights”. Anyone paying attention with an open mind could tell you that men are being bulldozed in child custody cases, and are treated like meal tickets by the family court system. Of course men and women should both be responsible and take care of their children, but the deck is stacked completely against men. Women are automatically assumed to be better parents, and it’s almost impossible for a man to win custody. If he even tries, he has to spend a fortune, and it will probably be a waste of time anyway. Child support quite often is just a method of transferring power and wealth from men to women. One hope I have for this country is to see some fairness come back into the system, otherwise it’s going to implode at some point. There’s a lot of anger out there among men, and the judges and politicians don’t seem to recognize it.
Lot of interesting stories on
Lot of interesting stories on this site. Seems when you come right down to it, the whole inequality in the divorce system, including the child support mechanism, is about power and wealth distribution. Just another chance to take wealth and power away from those who have it (men) and give it to those who are perceived not to have it(women). This has been going on for over a generation. Men could easily provide for their children by actually purchasing the things their children need, like clothing and food. Or by awarding fathers custody more frequently. But the politicians and courts have fixed it by forcing the father to give a portion of his income to his ex-wife, no matter what the specifics of the case were. The woman could have been a cheater, or incompetent with money, or a bad parent, and she still gets the kids…and consequently, a chunk of the mans income. Thats the ultimate plan, to put more power and wealth into womens hands. Cowardly judges are more concerned about making safe rulings that won’t be reversed than they are about any type of fairness. Not much we can do about it right now, but the stories have to get out there, so at least there is more awareness. With awareness comes at least some hope for change. The idea of fixing an old inequity with a new inequity in the other direction is the opposite of justice, and is against everything this country stands for.
Screw it. Find a rich chick.
Screw it. Find a rich chick. Marry a woman with more money than you, or with a higher income. IF it doesn’t work, let her pay you. Let them experience how the other half lives, they’ll be screaming for changes in the system in no time.
You guys sound like a bunch
You guys sound like a bunch of crybabies. Go ahead and try to change the laws, it will never happen. Judges and politicians know better. Pay up and shut up.
Society will implode
If things continue on the current course society as we know it will no longer exist. Men involved in divorce are being raped and it wont be long before they will be unable to financially/psychologically able to keep it together. When that happens the entire system will fall apart. Women sit back and expect their exes to provide them with a free ride. They make no effort to support themselves and when things crash society will be in a dire state.
Society will implode
If things continue on the current course society as we know it will no longer exist. Men involved in divorce are being raped and it wont be long before they will be unable to financially/psychologically able to keep it together. When that happens the entire system will fall apart. Women sit back and expect their exes to provide them with a free ride. They make no effort to support themselves and when things crash society will be in a dire state.